


I look at you and -

by Rehearsal_Dweller



Category: Star vs. The Forces Of Evil
Genre: F/M, Important Relationship Junk, Tom's just a cameo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-09
Updated: 2017-11-09
Packaged: 2019-01-31 07:04:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12676836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rehearsal_Dweller/pseuds/Rehearsal_Dweller
Summary: "Everything’s different than it used to be. Or – or maybe it isn’t, andI’mjust different.”





	I look at you and -

**Author's Note:**

> So the one problem with these big ol release events is that it took about ten seconds for this to be not-quite-canon-compliant, but I officially Do Not Care. The important stuff still rings true.  
> I have a lot of feelings about Star and Marco right now. A lot of them. Too many.   
> Of note: there are a handful of references and tie ins to my previous SVtFoE fic "In the Quiet" but it isn't by any means necessary to understand this one, just ties in nicely.

Marco swept his fingers through his hair. He’d been home – post-Mewni, post-adventure, post- _Star_ – for a week. One long, long week.

Star sent home his hoodie the other day. He still – he wasn’t wearing it as much as he used to, not yet. He wore the cape River had given him more. It felt a little odd with his Earth clothes, wasn’t exactly fashionable, but he wore it. It felt like…

Marco shook his head. Star wasn’t coming back here anytime soon. And he wasn’t going back to Mewni.

He should probably – he should probably stop wearing it. It just kind of… it kind of felt right. He felt different now; he should get to be different.

Anyway, it wasn’t just Marco that was different. It was everything. There hadn’t been a single inch of Marco’s life that Star hadn’t picked up, tossed around, painted a different color, and put back again. Her being gone was like a massive gaping hole in his world.

Still, it wasn’t as bad as before. He felt differently now that he’d been back to Mewni, had seen Star and knew that she was alright. There was some closure in that, he supposed, especially since he’d had some time alone with her to sort things out a little. To reassure himself that she _was_ alive and okay and doing her princess thing. It wasn’t the same as before-the-before, the part of his life when Star was there and actively sticking her hands into everything he did, but it was definitely okay. And that was –

Well, that was something.

\--

“So you and Marco really aren’t a thing?”

“No,” replied Star, facedown on her bed. She pushed herself up on an elbow. “He’s got a girlfriend. And Jackie – she’s my _friend_. And Marco’s had a crush on her for, like, ever. I’m – I’m happy for them.” She faltered and let her head drop down onto the comforter again.

“Oh, Star,” Tom said, patting her back a little awkwardly. When he stopped, he just let his hand sit on the small of her back. It was a quiet, intimate moment, which of course Tom promptly ruined. “You’ve got it _bad_.”

“You think I don’t know that?” Star mumbled into her mattress.

“Have you, uh, have you told him?” said Tom, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand. Tom wasn’t great at this, but Star appreciated that he was trying.

“I _wish_ it was that simple,” Star replied.

“I didn’t say it was,” said Tom, shrugging. “But you’re not gonna feel any better bottling it up. “

“Where’d you pick that one up?”

“Therapy.”

Star rolled over, pushing back onto her elbows. “Well, fine. But I’m not bottling it up. I’m telling you, right?”

“I s’pose that’s something,” Tom said. He leaned back against the footboard of the bed. “You know, you could always invite him to visit.”

\--

Star tapped her heel on the ground, he knee bouncing rapidly. In just a few hours, she was going to get to see Marco again for the first time in weeks. It was incredibly nerve-wracking. She wanted everything to be perfect, but there wasn’t really anything else left to get ready. All she could do was wait.

And so Star sat, in a pretty, soft pink dress with her hair in a neat braided pullback, anxiously awaiting Marco’s arrival. She kept running her fingers through the ends of her hair, twisting it up around her fingers, and then combing it through again.

Before long – although it felt much longer to Star – a portal opened.

Marco stepped through, his red hoodie under his cape. He looked around a little, his eye catching on Star as she launched herself off of her bed. When he saw her, Marco’s eyes lit up and he dropped his duffel. He caught her in a tight hug – the kind of hug that happens any time two people who love each other very much have been apart for entirely too long. It was a long, close hug; they held each other tight. If Marco felt the sobs shaking Star’s whole body, he didn’t say anything.

They didn’t separate for a long time. When they finally did, they didn’t let go of each other completely, just released their tight grip on each other, leaning back a little. Marco let his arms slide down to sit around Star’s waist. Star’s forearm rested on Marco’s chest, her hands on his shoulders.

“Hi,” Marco said softly.

“Hi,” agreed Star, smiling shakily. Her eyes were watery.

“Long time, no see.” Marco brought a hand to Star’s face, sweeping away a tear with his thumb. “How’ve you been?”

Star shrugged. “Alright. Everything’s different than it used to be. Or – or maybe it isn’t, and _I’m_ just different.”

“I know how you feel,” said Marco. His hand was still resting on Star’s cheek. “My life is nothing like it was before I met you. But I wouldn’t want it to be.”

“Neither would I,” said Star.

They finally broke apart, both suddenly conscious of how long they’d been holding each other. Marco picked up his duffel, and they crossed to Star’s bed. She sat down, gesturing for Marco to join her. He crawled onto the bed, stopping across from her to sit cross-legged with their knees touching.

“Star, you look –“ Marco said softly, “you look…” he trailed off.

“Thanks,” Star replied. They stared at each other for a long moment. Star squared her shoulders, bracing herself. “How’s, uh, how’s Jackie?”

“She’s – she’s okay, I think,” said Marco, obviously thrown by the change of subject. “She, uh. She kinda broke up with me.”

“Oh, Marco, I’m sorry,” Star said. She hadn’t be expecting that, just wanted to prove to herself and to him that things could still be normal for them.

“No, it’s – I’m okay,” Marco told her, putting a hand on her knee. “I was really stuck in the summer and everything that happened here and – and I wasn’t really being a good boyfriend. Jackie, she gave me an out.” He squeezed Star’s knee. “She told me to come back here.”

“Oh.” Star didn’t know what to say, what to think.

Marco blinked a few times, then pulled his hand back. “I, uh. Tom said you guys’ve been hanging out more lately, are you, uh – I wouldn’t want to get in the way of-“

“No!” Star interrupted. The _last_ thing Star needed was Marco thinking she was involved with Tom again. He’d get all protective and – well, the rest didn’t really matter. “We’re – we’re just friends. He’s trying.”

“Good, that’s great,” Marco said a little awkwardly. “That you’re friends, I mean. Not that you’re – I mean, whatever makes you happy.” He patted her knee again, but pulled his hand back after. “I want you to be happy.”

“I want you to be happy, too,” Star said quietly. There was a lot hanging unsaid between them, and Marco looked rather inclined to start saying them. Star wasn’t sure she wanted him to.

“Star,” Marco said. He took a deep, slow breath, looking into her eyes. “Star, I think we need to talk.”

Star felt tears sliding down her cheeks again. “I don’t think we do, Marco. I don’t think we should.”

Marco reached over and touched her face. He didn’t wipe away the tears this time, just gently caressed her cheek. He didn’t say anything. Didn’t ask what she was afraid of.

He didn’t have to; he knew.

“I don’t want to ruin everything,” Star mumbled.

“I don’t think you could if you tried, Star.” Marco smiled weakly. “So you made my life more dangerous. I was so boring that people literally called me the _safe kid_. So you push me into things – I’d been nodding at Jackie for _years_ but I could barely string two words together in front of her until you made me.”

He paused, taking another slow breath, his eyes closed. Star wanted to say something, anything, but didn’t dare break the silence.

Marco opened his eyes, a faint smile on his lips. “So you have a crush on me.”

“I have a crush on you,” Star repeated, her cheeks flushed. “Are you, like, cool with that?”

“It’s not exactly news anymore,” said Marco. “I’ve been working on wrapping my head around that one for a while.”

“And?”

“I don’t really know, Star,” Marco said honestly, shrugging. “I still like Jackie. But I – I care about you a lot. And whatever that is, it’s – it’s _important_ , Star.”

He took Star’s hand in his, looking away from her face as he did so. His eyes were on their hands; Star’s were on his face.

She didn’t know or understand what he was trying to say, really, but also didn’t feel compelled to ask. She trusted Marco, knew he’d explain in his own time.

“Look, Star, I’m not asking you to date me,” Marco continued, still not looking at her. “We’ve got a lot of junk to work out still, and everything’s a little raw, and I don’t want you to think I’m rebounding, and you’ve got some _thing_ with Tom happening and I –“ he faltered.

“Marco,” Star said softly, and Marco’s head snapped up to look her in the eye. “You’re here.”

“I’m here,” agreed Marco.

“That’s enough,” Star told him, squeezing his hand. “We can work out the rest together.”

**Author's Note:**

> PS: The title is a Finding Nemo reference, just in case you didn't guess. Take that how you will.


End file.
